Easy Baker Oven

Check out my new blog at lindseybaker.net.

2010-02-01T19:57:00.000-08:00

I decided I'm going to unlink this old blog from my posterous blog. It seems silly post here when it's identical to the other blog. Well identical, except it's not grossly mis-formatted like this blog. Also, I'm two lazy to go two places and correct my many typos I notice after the fact. In the future just visit me at:

http://www.lindseybaker.net/

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution

2010-01-31T20:56:00.001-08:00

I've been reserving my judgement on 'Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution'
the upcoming television show touting my hometown of Huntington, WV as
"America's Unhealthiest City". Today when searching around for
information I found a preview for the show.

I'm torn. Huntington was given it's title of "Unhealthiest City"
because it was the most populated city in a study of five area
counties, some of which were in our neighbour states of Ohio and
Kentucky. So the fact that it's called the trumped up 'America's
Unhealthiest City' (downplayed from earlier title of "fattest city")
is suspect to begin with but I guess "America's Unhealthiest
Five-County Metropolitan Area" doesn't have the same ring to it. The
statistics for which the "Unhealthiest City" moniker were based came
out in November of 2008, after which numerous articles in the US and
UK painted a picture of Huntingtonians as being globular hillbillies
who don't know no better than to eat themselves plumb full of biscuit
and fudge.

The promo through the eyes of ABC's Extreme Home Makeover-style
editing this Huntington, West Virginia seamed very foreign to me. In
the hometown I was raised, pizza was not on the school's breakfast
menu and children were able to identify a veritable cornucopia of
fruits and vegetables. I even saw produce with MY OWN EYES when my
grandfather would take me to the farmers market when he went at the
beginning of every day. The reality of Huntington's makeup is quite
different than the beyond thunderdome wasteland of fast-food fatties
that some past-articles would have you believe live there. That being
said, Huntington has some very serious eating problems that need to be
addressed but not sensationalized and I think people are reasonably
sceptical of British guys pouring lard on tarps. Early reports from
my mother, a teacher in one of the schools which adopted Oliver's
changes, and from friends who have participated in some his cooking
classes have been good, I'm just interested in seeing how it all comes
off on television.

P.S.: People like that loudmouth "we don't want to sit around and eat
lettuce all day" radio DJ are a dime a dozen there, it's one of the
reasons I don't live there any more.

P.S.S.: Thank god for Andy Dick stealing the Huntington spotlight a
bit. I'm much rather people be like "Hey, your form the town that
Andy Dick touched two guys on the genitals" than "Hey, your form
America's fattest city." Andy, please come back and touch some
genitals to seal the deal after the show airs, I beg of you!

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What self-respecting real werewolf would call themselves “wolfy”, a name that lends itself to ZERO forest-cred.

2010-01-29T15:04:00.001-08:00

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Two obsessions,one video...set heart cockles to warm.

2010-01-29T13:55:00.001-08:00

Posted via email from lindseybaker's posterous

I'll give you my Tonight Show...when you take it from my cold, dead hands.

2010-01-28T21:59:00.001-08:00

Just got done watching Leno on Oprah. Fascinating. It's so strange to me that he believes he plays the roll of a "boxer...gun slinger...and big time wrestler" in that situation and not roll of a selfish, desperate, lazy comedian too afraid to try something new. The worst part was his self doubt that "maybe I'm not doing the right thing" at the end led me to believe that he'd never thought about these things before, that it took being asked by Oprah Winfrey for him to think about some these things for the first time!

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Holden Caulfield rock block.

2010-01-28T20:38:00.001-08:00

KEXP just did a Holden Caulfield rock block in which it seemed like they just put 'anything Salinger' in the database and hit <SEARCH>. I appreciate the homage but I'll take good music that's unrelated over "hey, here are some songs about things that are happening" any day.

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I'm home sick, and I've come to a decision.

2010-01-27T12:49:00.001-08:00

I'm stuck here at the house going back and forth between cough
medicine fulled sleep, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch watching, and the
iPad announcement (I wasn't sold until the $499 price point and
keyboard dock) and I've come to a decision...Minestrone, you
constantly underwhelm me. Quite frankly, you're not a very good soup.
In the future, unless you come free with dinner like you do at the
Italian Spaghetti House in Lake City we are done....that's
right...D-O-N-E!

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I'm loving these new banana stickers.

2010-01-27T11:49:00.001-08:00

via beckymartz.com

My friend Courtney turned me on to these new stickers that have been on Chiquita bananas lately...so cute!

Posted via web from lindseybaker's posterous

Early thoughts on Posterous.

2010-01-26T19:38:00.001-08:00

I've been excited about using posterous! I'm going to do my interneting where I can give and receive the most information about what's important to me (friends and general BS) and that lately has been Twitter and Facebook. I appreciate the easy communication and instant gratification aspects of status updates and twittering but they've become enablers to my already lazy nature for not expressing bigger ideas.

The hyper-self-analysis that goes with looking back at what I've written has contributed to this and that combined with a fear of writing something worthwhile has accompanied the droughts or deaths of my long form blogs in the past. Posterous covers more ground which helps it feel like there's much more middle ground for updating, be it a youtube clip, pictures of Bryn, or a long missive I thought was meaningful at the time.

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Sounders.

2010-01-25T23:04:00.001-08:00

So excited that there will be more Sounders news now the training camp has started! Who would have thought that the fond memoirs of youth soccer combined with a life long love wearing stylish scarves would have created a sports fan out of me. Speaking of...my Sounders bar scarf form roughneck that Heather's family pre-ordered me for Christmas should be here soon.

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MLS Cup Weekend

2010-01-25T20:25:00.001-08:00

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Old Seattle Photos.

2010-01-25T20:17:00.001-08:00

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Spring day, Pylon, and working from home.

2010-01-25T16:41:00.001-08:00

Yo - Yo by Pylon
Download now or listen on posterous

02 Yo-Yo.mp3 (7525 KB)

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Bryn and Oscar at the Zoomazium.

2010-01-25T13:07:00.001-08:00

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Flubber.

2008-06-06T13:09:00.001-07:00

I've lost a little weight playing Wii Fit. I got excited this morning when I figured out I could wear a pair of pants that didn't fit the last time I tried them. I just went to the bathroom at work and saw myself in the mirror and I look kind of bad. I think the pants kind of give me a muffin top...or some more masculine West Virginian version of a muffin top. Pillsbury biscuits popping out of the tube, maybe?

It's my birthday!

2008-06-02T13:43:00.000-07:00

After 32 years of being snubbed by other types of exercise today Wii Fit offered me these kind birthday wishes.

This is not the kind of creature comforts I've come to expect from fair-weather friends Jogging and Jumping Jack. Take a hike fellows, there's a more thoughtful physical exertion in town!

PS: I'm unsure if "creature comforts" was appropriately used in this post. I said it because I think it sounds cute. I can do anything. I could shit on your head and tell you it's raining. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

PSS: Kind friends who read my blog, I'm sorry I said that thing about shitting on your head. I thought it up and it sounded funny, like something Dr. Phil might say.

PSSS: Expect me to talk more like Dr. Phil in this year of my life...it's my new thing.

PSSS: Thanks so much to everyone who came to my party on Saturday. It really meant a lot to me and it was so great to see everyone!

I love this so much.

2008-05-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

Go here. After the splash page click on the set “I Throw Myself at Men” at the bottom left.

Dancin'

2008-05-26T09:40:00.001-07:00

I'm I appropriate in thinking that a car with a bumper sticker that says "Dancin'" being towed away is the funniest thing in the the world or is this something that is distinctly my sense of humor?!?

Dancin', originally uploaded by boptart.

Punch Fight Party.

2008-05-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

It's Beautiful.

Thanks Shane.

Check out those ass holes on the box!

2008-05-20T21:11:00.000-07:00

Yup, we got one of those. A BebeSounds, so I can DJ the unborn baby some womb tunes. I put some little speakers on Heather's belly and jamming though the amniotic fluid the first songs heard by the little girl were.

Velvet Underground - If You Close the Door
Donovan - Wear Your Love Like Heaven
The Primitives - I'll Stick With You
Sweet - Fox On The Run

Then causing the ruckus I felt her kick for the first time when I played Suzi Quatro's Can The Can! I saved it for last because I thought that Suzi was some intermediate level shit but our little genius stated kicking like Pele.

That's my girl!

I made a Westcoast Kickball...

2008-05-20T07:51:00.001-07:00

League love letter.

Meta drunk dial.

2008-05-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

Wow. Today I got a email that I vaguely remember sending myself a year ago. Futureme.org is a website that you can send emails to yourself and set them to arrive at any point in the future. I sent this to myself a year ago today. Some background, Maw Maw B is my Grandmother Baker and Poppie is my grandfather on my mothers side.

Dear FutureMe,

I've tried. I want to be like Maw Maw B. There is no one on this earth as kind hearted as her. I want to be like my Poppie. Few People have his patience. I'm from the same genes but I'm not like them in the ways I'd like to be yet, maybe it just comes with age. What I am. I'm a good friend. I'm a good listener. I get lost in my own thoughts but I think about the people I love a lot. I've got a ways to go but I'm a good person. I've had good people raise me and good role models. I'm working on having enough knowledge to know myself and be able to express and explain my actions.

I'm not sure what was going on with me exactly at the time but with all the thoughts and emotions I have running though me lately with the baby on her way the heartfelt analytical hindsight did me some good.

Graffiti Animation.

2008-05-14T21:40:00.000-07:00

Je t'adore...

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Goldfrapp - Happiness

2008-04-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

3:09 in this video KILLED me! Dead. I'm home by myself and at that part I started applauding.

I made my first...

2008-04-04T13:22:00.000-07:00

muxtape. I love the 8-bit design and simplistic interface...a brilliant execution! They force you to upload one song at a time so it's tedious like doing a real mixtape

...and I like it.

I don't feel totally comfortable that I'm nostalgic to relive the more complicated days of yesteryear. I guess when you've spent much of your past consuming yourself over the contents of mixtapes as I have you're bound to have some sentimentality about them.

Great song, did it say something about wanting to do it with her in there, rewind, erase, press play (index finger) and record (pointer finger). I'm not sure if that song fits with the tone of the rest of the tape, rewind, erase, press play (index finger) and record (pointer finger). Oops, the 3:40 song cuts off before the end of the tape, rewind, erase, look for a song under a 2:30 that's as perfect as the first to end Side B, press play (index finger) and record (pointer finger)). It's exerting all that effort for one person that's the aspect of a mixtape that's missing from muxtape.

I find myself really longing for that sometimes. I can think of few things in my life where I've put that much thought and effort into a gift for someone else. It's one of the reasons I really enjoyed the personalized one song through headphones in the dark DJing (see a picture from the event below) I did for friends at my birthday last year. I don't know if my birthday party was the right time to do it. I was super excited about the responce but it kept me from just relaxing and hanging out with people at the party but otherwise it was great. I should really try it again soon. It would be neat to do it for people I don't know and make them fill out some sort of questionnaire before hand to help me gadge what their song should be...

I'm glad I worked all that out.

It's not a tumor!

2008-03-26T19:04:00.000-07:00

My fantastic Monday has been followed by two miserable days. I've had my first two migraines since adolescence. Yesterday on my lunch I took a bus with my friend Caroline down to see Geoff McFetridge working on his installation at the SAM Sculpture Park Pavilion (hey look, that's me in the picture on the SLOG). While I was there my vision went fuzzy. Kind of like it was stuck in the transition from not seeing to seeing that takes place when you rub your eyes. It weirded me out but it got better so I didn't think much of it. Then an hour later back at work I could feel a migraine coming on.

I haven't had one in so long I sat at me desk in denial until I had to run to the bathroom and throw up from the pain. I asked to leave and walked home throwing up on the sidewalks of Seattle the entire way. I ran in my house and laid in my dark closet with a pillow over my head for most of the evening. At about the same time today it happened again! If I didn't feel so good otherwise my first intuition would be stress? I don't know, hopefully it's just a once in every ten year or so anomaly because it SUPER hurts BAD!

WV Only Post.

2008-03-25T15:19:00.000-07:00

It's crime against humanity that the Ballards Sausage ad isn't on youtube.

Gender Issues.

2008-03-24T12:45:00.001-07:00

What is it!? A boy baby, a girl baby or one of those Jamie Lee Curtis ones?

So...

It's a GIRL!!!!

It's a...

2008-03-23T22:18:00.000-07:00

7:30AM tomorrow morning we find out what kind of baby parts will be in our future. Keep your fingers crossed that it's either a boy or girl...and more importantly that it's healthy.

I don't think I'll be sleeping much tonight.

My dad.

2008-03-07T15:06:00.000-08:00

When I called my dad this morning after saying hello he excitedly said "Tell me again that you're having a baby like you've never told me before."

The conversation went as follows:

Me: "Why?"
Dad: "Just say it!"
Me: "Um, ok? Dad, we're having a baby."
Dad: Oh REEEEALLY! Well I guess if Michael Jackson can have a baby THEN SO CAN YOU!
Me: Good one. Where did you hear that?
Dad: The Steve Harvey Show! I've been dying to say that since I heard it!

The conversation continued with five minutes more of various Steve Harvey related chatter but then diverged in other directions.

Some great Flickr photo sets.

2008-03-05T20:26:00.000-08:00

Portfolio of Probabilities - Early 60s perspectives on the future...

Grant Hamilton's 'Geometries'

Photo's from the Saul Bass illustrated 'Henri's Walk to Paris'

Obama Just Lost My Vote.

2008-03-03T11:25:00.000-08:00

This is persuasive, I think I'm going to go with Gravel.

In Bruges.

2008-03-03T08:26:00.000-08:00

I saw In Bruges this weekend knowing little about it. It totally surprised me! It was the perfect way to see the movie so I won’t say much more in case you’re planning to do the same. I will say it’s my favorite film of the year so far.

Thora Birch.

2008-03-02T22:35:00.000-08:00

I just downloaded Ghost World off iTunes and it's got me thinking, what happened to Thora Birch? She went from American Beauty and Ghost World to, in just a few short years, being in Lifetime's Homeless to Harvard. What did she call someone in Hollywood the N or Jew word or something? Oh, and there was that weird thing a few years back with her dad showing up on set to help direct her in sex scenes. Yuckers!

Ugg.

2008-03-01T13:15:00.000-08:00

One of those 24 year old Girl Scouts selling cookies downtown just said "they'll make your tummy smile" to me in such a way that I wanted to crotch punch her.

Crazy Train, take me home.

2008-02-26T22:15:00.000-08:00

Home state pride! This show chorus is from rural Poca, West Virginia. I always though their team name "The Poca Dots" was cute but not very intimidating for a football rival. It's hard to make a dot look cool. They tried but I think their mascot looks like roid-rage version of the 7-Up Spot:

I google chatted these clips to my friend Kirsa who said "apparently living in the shadow of those terrifying industrial stacks has done well by them." Indeed.

P.S. I was in show choir in High School but...sadly...only preformed dumb old Edgar Winter Group's "Free Ride" and nothing nearly as "cool" as this. I just youtubed for a clip and was disappointed/elated not to find anything.

Dental Apt.

2008-02-26T10:38:00.001-08:00

No Cavity Club - as of today 31 years...and counting.

Shit eating, meet grin.

You Tube - Christmas, home in West Virgina.

2008-02-23T20:11:00.000-08:00

The first clip "The brie cheese" is pretty much my favorite thing ever right now.

Camera malfunction:

Photo Backlog.

2008-02-23T00:18:00.000-08:00

I've been really bad about putting up photos (or updating the blog in general) so here's slide shows of a backlog of photos I just uploaded to Flickr of Seattle, Brooke's visits, my trip to Spokane, and Christmas. My dad got me Flip Video recorder for Christmas so I'm also going to put up some youtube videos soon.

Diapers at the Gates of Dawn.

2008-02-22T16:32:00.000-08:00

After much consideration Heather and I have decided to have a baby. The only way we felt that Ball Deep could truly be realized was to not only talk the talk but take the team to it's obvious evolution...

by creating a kickball team entirely of our spawn.

Giving heather a month downtime between players we expect to have a fully functioning kickball team by mid 2026. Lil' Deeper, our training facility/compound will be open this November.

Seriously though...we're like totally having a baby!

'Pineapple Express.

2008-02-13T11:58:00.000-08:00

I loved Undertow and All the Real Girls but I was unsure about David Gordon Green’s Pineapple Express after the last trailer. Today’s R-Rated trailer did much to alleviate those fears.

Huckabee wins W.Va.

2008-02-05T12:18:00.000-08:00

In defense of West Virginia I wanted to point out that that today’s primary was only for the republican primary. Contrary to popular belief the Republican Party has a pretty small presence back home. WV is primarily a blue state, somewhat blue, it’s more of a Dixiecrat state. People love Robert C. Bird because he’s pork barreled so much money to the state so the people have followed his lead and registered Democrat.

Although, maybe things are changing, Bush has won the last two elections in WV. I kind of chalked that up to the "these colors don’t run" sentiment that was running rampant throughout the whole country at the time. Maybe a West Virginia friend who reads this can clear this up. Does the makeup of West Virginia still consist mainly of pro-coal, pro-Bird democrats or have things changed so much that someone like Huckabee could win against a democrat in the general election?

Happy New Year!

2008-01-02T21:23:00.000-08:00

I'm back in Seattle. Tonight I'm trying out Heather's Christmas gift of a USB turntable. I don't know how to remove pops and clicks yet but here is my first attempt at recording a record to MP3 Otis Redding & Carla Thomas with "New Year's Resolution".

I'm home.

2007-12-25T19:22:00.000-08:00

In the Cedar Rapids...

2007-12-23T15:58:00.001-08:00

Airport on my way to West Virginia via Detroit. It was looking bad
there for a while but (knock on wood) things look like they are coming
into place.

Trip update.

2007-12-22T22:36:00.000-08:00

I've been posting about my trip via cell phone pictures and local news reports but here's a little background. I left Seattle Thursday afternoon for my Christmas break. The plan was to meet up with Heather in Waterloo, Iowa for a few days and then head back home to West Virginia.

My first plane was delayed three hours so day one of my trip eneded with me staying in the "Ramada Mall of America" (arriving at 1AM so I didn't even get to go to the MOA.) Day two, and three hours of sleep later, I got shuttled to the airport past the Mall of America, taunting me, where after waiting on a few canceled flights I was eventually was put on a five hour bus ride to Waterloo. Later that evening I arrived in Iowa where a news camera was shoved in my sleepy and greasy face as I got off the bus. Now I'm going in to day four still luggage-less and shuffling around between the clothes I left in, an outfit I bought at Target, and a pair of Heather's Uncle Jeff's Pajama bottoms. My time here has been cut pretty short by the delays but I'm having a great time. I'm, in theory, I'm leaving on the next leg of my trip home tomorrow.

The blogging of photos from my phone was mainly out of boredom the bus but it's been fun. It sounds like I have the possibility of a lot more down time (although, I'd prefer just being stuck here if that's the case) so I'll keep you updated.

A female from Chicago...

2007-12-22T10:27:00.001-08:00

with my name made local news in Waterloo.

I'm...

2007-12-21T13:18:00.001-08:00

Trying some "live blogging" of my trip (in part because I'm bored out
of my skull). I'm doing this on a bumpy bus from my phone so I'm
limited but I'll flesh it out more later.

From the bus

2007-12-21T12:47:00.000-08:00

On bus to Waterloo.

2007-12-21T12:45:00.000-08:00

On the road

2007-12-21T12:43:00.000-08:00

Fox News Store in airport.

On the road.

2007-12-21T12:30:00.000-08:00

A Minnesota State Fair coke machine in the airport.

On the road.

2007-12-21T12:27:00.001-08:00

Stuck last night in the "Mall of America Ramada" on my way to meet up
with heather in Waterloo, Iowa.

Well done Onion.

2007-12-17T10:30:00.001-08:00

Our Troops Send Holiday Wishes For Peace, Goodwill, And Body Armor

Tigercity, Vampire Weekend, and Soko.

2007-12-01T20:56:00.001-08:00

Three recently discovered music artists that I enjoy.

SeeqPod Music beta - Playable Search

OJ.

2007-11-14T22:50:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today about a High School friend who said he saw a Special Olympic squat thrust competitor throw up on himself.

His claim was that flipping thought the channels one weekend morning he saw a the young man lift weights high over his head, pause, then vomit on himself. That itself is not all that funny (although throwing up on yourself under the right circumstance is pretty much always funny). Following a long awkward silence the commentator stumbled and said:

"Oops, it looks like he had a little too much orange juice there before the competition."

Let me repeat that..."HE HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH ORANGE JUICE THERE BEFORE THE COMPETITION!!!"

I haven't thought about that for a long time but in High School I thought about it constantly.

Stairway to Stardom.

2007-11-13T21:45:00.000-08:00

I found a bunch of awesome clips from Stairway to Stardom. If you've seen the TV Carnage Casual Fridays DVD a lot of the best clips are from this show. Here are some performers that I enjoyed but if you have some time to waste I recommend searching for "Stairway to Stardom" on youtube.

My favorite thing in recent memory...

2007-11-09T07:41:00.000-08:00

a.d.i.d.a.s.

2007-10-11T20:44:00.000-07:00

This is the most embarrassing thing that's happened to me in a while. Today at work I joggled my iPhone in such a way that it started playing "a.d.i.d.a.s. (All Day I Dream About Sex)" by Killer Mike, alphabeticaly the first song in my iTunes. It's a great song and not nearly as dirty as the title would suggest. In fact, one of the only work offencive parts that comes to mind is the intro which says "pussy nigga what you doin?"

When I heard it I attempted to mutton hand the stop button but I mistakenly, and loudly, I kept restarting the song having it say "pussy nigga what you doin?" over and over. It sounded more like it was my ring tone than an actual song. I stared sweating and my first reaction was to say loudly "WHAT IN THE WORLD" thinking that would convince my co-workers I didn't know what was going on. Then I let out a flabbergasted "THAT WAS WEIRD". Then waited long enough that it wouldn't look totally awkward and, still blushing, took a walk around the block.

Note to HR::

Lazy Sunday.

2007-09-23T18:39:00.001-07:00

It's been a busy weekend with Heather's birthday on Friday and DJing at the McLeod residence last night. I had a super lazy day today, it felt sooooo great! This afternoon I just randomly bopped around online spending a few hours on Will Ferrell's comedy youtubey site funny or die. I watched a lot of crap but here is a best of what I found, some of which made cry laughing:

Livin' 'Neath The Law with Jack McBrayer
I love that this is called "Livin' 'Neath The Law" and I love Jack McBrayer.

Never Before Aired: Neil Diamond and Christina Aguilera
Here's a never aired before SNL skit. Will Ferrell as Neil Diamond is always worth watching.

Never Before Aired SNL Sketch w/ Conan O'Brien
Here's another never aired before SNL skit with Conan O'Brien. It takes a while to pick up but pays off.

What's It Gonna Be?
I watched this like ten times in a row.

Girls, Girls, Girls.

2007-09-15T13:58:00.001-07:00

I made a mixtape of a wide variety of girl singers called "Girls, Girls, Girls". I'm going to try to add it here streaming but it can also be downloaded here.

Spacehead - Primitives
Queens Of Noise - The Runaways
Deficient Love - Comet Gain
You Can't Hurry Love - The Concretes
Panis Et Circenses - Os Mutantes
It's A Nice World To Visit (But Not To Live In) - Lee Hazlewood & Ann-Margret
The Long List of Girls - The Blow
Teenie Weenie Boppie - France Gall
Work Is A Four Letter Word - Cilla Black
Divino Maravilhoso - Gal Costa
What Can I Give You - Margo Guryan
I Feel Like Breaking Up Somebody's Home - Ann Peebles
California Soul - Marlena Shaw
Don't Mess With My Man - Professor Longhair w/ Irma Thomas
Was Either Easier - Aislers Set
Choirboys Gas - Bad Dream Fancy Dress
Marine Girls - Marine Girls

Seeqpod, my new favorite thing.

2007-09-09T23:46:00.001-07:00

Here's my latest playlist of the best stuff I'm listening to currently...

SeeqPod Music beta - Playable Search

Shoutout to Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Tupac, and the victims of 9-11.

2007-08-13T22:22:00.000-07:00

I might be a bit behind on this one but...wow.

Happy West Virginia Day!

2007-06-20T18:03:00.001-07:00

I totally just cried...

2007-06-15T20:42:00.000-07:00

while watching Bob Barker's final episode of Price is Right.

It's your boyfriend.

2007-05-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

My blog in its logical transition of becoming a full blown R. Kelly fan site... Check out the lyrics that Jesse Thorn, America’s Radio Sweetheart, posted today of the ballad "Sex Planet." A sample:

Girl I promise this will be painless, painless
We'll take a trip to Planet Uranus, anus

Stick a flaaaag on the moon
First couple to ever make love on Planet Neptuuuuuuuuuuune

And if time allow us, we'll be gone for hours
I won't stop until I give you meteor showers

That man could sing a phonebook.

Seattle Architecture.

2007-05-17T11:09:00.000-07:00

Slate did a great photo essay this week on Seattle Architecture.

Sooo Seinfeldy.

2007-05-02T17:43:00.000-07:00

Last week at work I arrived one morning to find a mysterious note on my keyboard that said:

Lindsey,

Sorry about the hat.

Thanks,

(Illegible)

I asked a few people throughout the day if they knew what it meant but no one had any idea. I kept trying to remember any hat pictures I had cataloged in the last few weeks that the note might have been in reference to. In the afternoon I asked my boss and someone around her said "Oh yeah, that's my friend, he left that because he saw you in the hallway and thought that you smiled at him but then looked at his hat and stopped smiling. He thought you hated his hat!"

It kind of weirded me out. I think it played in to an already existing fear that I'm doing something offensive but no one's telling me. I thought, "Does everyone that I smile at who's not wearing a hat think hate their face? "

I was unsure how to handle the note but my coworker assured me that the guy just has a weird sense of humor so I emailed him back with the following response:

Thanks for the personalized note but no apologies are necessary. As a bald man often times hats are a necessity for me. My head gets cold in the winter and the summertime sun makes me susceptible to getting sun burnt on my head, which really hurts. I have a hat for any harsh weather condition that the seasons may put on my path. It’s rare to meet another hat enthusiast, maybe a lunchtime trip to the local haberdashery might be in order.

Thanks again,

Lindsey

It's been about a week but I never received back a response. Any help would be appreciated on the following questions:

Was that an appropriate response? Have any of you ever sensed any hated towards your face or hat when I've smiled at you in the past? When I inevitably have to see this guy at work again, what should I do?

I ♥ Jen Kirkman.

2007-05-02T15:04:00.000-07:00

I love Jen Kirkman's stream of consciousness comedy. I like that it's as absurd and non-sequitury as something that might pop into my head when out drinking with my friends or writing on here but it's in front of people, on a stage.

That's a stretch.

2007-04-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

I saw a t-shirt yesterday that said:

Aging
GRAYSfully
Anatomy

Update:

Overhead on a bus the same day, in reference to a crowd that had fallen silent at a baseball game:

"They were quiet as a pie"

Veterans Museum

2007-04-28T18:03:00.000-07:00

Today, on a whim, I decided to visit the Veterans Museum. I've seen it before while walking home from work and was intrigued because it's seems out of place downtown. It's in kind of a weird location next to a Starbucks on 2nd avenue. The proprietor was really nice and gave me a free tour. It's one small room it so felt less like a museum and more like the homely basement of a war memorabilia collector. Which doesn't sound far the truth before he started the museum. In fact, he said his mom made the revolutionary war outfit, which he mentioned was one of the only items that was a replica among the antiques. A lot of the other items had been donated.

I felt bad for his son because it looked like they were getting ready to leave when I walked in. I'm sure he's gotten used to entertaining himself, his dad seemed pretty passionate about American war history, so it seamed like he could (and did) wax poetic about the subject for a while. I saw some neat stuff, noise makers used for gas attacks, a helmet with a throat microphone used by tank operators, 69 caliber bullets (fun for the kids). There was a funny exchange with the owner and a new volunteer who was getting the tour with me, trying the learn the ropes. While looking at a World War II gas mask the owner explained that the mask could be used for mustard gas attacks and the volunteer said "I've never tasted mustard gas before". The owner said "yeah, I would hope not, you would most likely be dead or blinded." to which the volunteer responded "Well...um...I've been tear gassed"...to an awkward silence.

The price was cheap, a recommended donation fee of three dollars, which he said that went to "keep the lights on" because everyone who worked there was unpaid volunteers. When I told the owner that my Pa Paw Baker, who has passed, fought in the battle of Iwo Jima he even gave me website to national archives so I could request a copy of his service records. It's a neat downtown oddity, I recommend checking it out.

I'm going to try to start doing some more random things like this and write about them on here.

Yes, I google myself, so?

2007-04-21T10:05:00.001-07:00

Oh and FYI.

A four year old playing accordion with Bocephus.

2007-04-14T16:31:00.000-07:00

Taxes.

2007-04-13T08:37:00.000-07:00

Can 50 Cent write off throwing $100 bills out to kids in a sex ed class as a business expense. If so, start getting excited about the next Bop Tart party!

Pop Conference.

2007-04-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

Anyone going to the Pop Conference at the EMP this weekend? I've gone in the past and for music nerd types it's super interesting. It's free this year to boot!

20 more chapers of Traped in the Closet!!!

2007-03-30T16:53:00.000-07:00

So, R. Kelly set up phone number for people to call where he plays some tracks from his new album. In the message he keeps referring to himself as “your boyfriend” but more importantly he said he has 20 new chapters of trapped in the closet coming out! Try it yourself, (312-278-3965)

I posted this a while back...

2007-03-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

but it didn't go through.

My mom and little brother guy were in both in the paper while I was home for Christmas, my mom for being super nice and my little brother guy for being cute.

I was listening to Gang Star at work...

2007-03-13T17:41:00.000-07:00

and I heard Jeru the Damaja drop the line "we rock knots and got props like Norm Peterson". It reminded me of this weird show I saw when I was a sophomore in high school with Jeru opening for Color Me Bad on a barge they have tied to Ohio River at a park in my hometown. The show was booked a few weeks before Color Me Bad blew up when 'I Wanna Sex You Up' came out on the New Jack City soundtrack. By the time they got to us they already thought they were megastars so they came out on stage, shat out three songs and left. Assholes.

The only thing to redeem that show was Jeru's amazing opening hour long performance. I remember being really grateful that he cared enough to put on a good show on a rusty barge, in Huntington, West Virginia, for a bunch of white kids that came out see that came to see Color Me Bad.

Honk for Fonk!

2007-03-11T22:08:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of me dressed up as the guy from the Vern Fonk ads at this weekends Seattle Notables costume party at theMcLeod Residence.

Question.

2007-02-17T16:52:00.000-08:00

Is saying you've got a "stomach boner" inappropriate to say in the work place? For example, "I've got a total stomach boner for those cookies".

Jarvcast

2006-11-18T08:53:00.000-08:00

If you're like me you can't count how many times you've thought to yourself 'I would love to hear Icelandic Folk tales read to me by the butterscotch voice of Jarvis Cocker'. Well let me introduce you to my friend Jarvcast.

Post-It wall.

2006-11-16T14:55:00.000-08:00

I love this.

Hope you're not allergic to getting beat up.

2006-11-14T21:55:00.000-08:00

Fierce!

2006-10-20T14:50:00.000-07:00

I saw this on The Superficial this morning and had to re-post it. We all know the Tyra Banks Show contains more Poor Mans Oprah than piss in a kiddie pool but seeing this really hurt my heart. You know how collage improv groups impersonate celebrities, where someone is such a big fan of whoever did the impression originally on SNL they’re unaware that they are actually just doing an impression of that person’s impression. Here’s the daytime talk show equivalent of that:

Dream.

2006-10-01T14:45:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night that I was staring in a movie where I discovered Willie Nelson was my father. I went on a Pee-Wee's Big Adventure-type roadtrip across the US I was trying to find Willie and tell him he was my dad. This fluidly moved into another dream in which I was trying to sell the screenplay to this film, called The Half Nelson, to studios.

God Bless America = Dog Balls.

2006-09-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

I remeber a few days after 9/11 I was sitting in Fazoli's (an italian fast food chain in the south) feeling freeked out and wondering when I was going to feel normal again. Then I looked across street to see that someone had changed the letters in the "let god bless america" sign at Graley Auto Body to "i eat dog balls". At that point I knew that Huntington, West Virginia was ready to start the healing process.

Dick boat.

2006-09-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

Four years (last weekend marked my four year anniversary in Seattle...BTW) of annoyance by the duck boat came to a head a few weeks ago.  If you're unfamiliar, the Duck Boat is a touristmobile that tours the streets of Seattle and then, in boat form, it drives into Lake Union to tour the city from the water.  Sounds harmless enough...

The problem is the drivers harass the townies on a loud speaker as they go though the city.  Daily, I have to hear cleverly named "captains" like Rusty Steel or Shivery Barnacles yell barbs like "nice coat" to someone with an ugly coat on or "here are some of downtown's more colorful people" as they drive past a group of drug addicts.  Each zinger is followed with "boinnnnng" boner noise from a morning zoo crew-esque sound effect machine or a "quack quack" on the mic from the driver himself. When they're not verbally berating people minding their own business they're ruining people's days by blasting wedding reception songs and Sesame Street's "Rubber Ducky, You're The One"as they drive down the street.

Up until recently I had only witnessed the full on jerkery of the duck boat but had never been subjected to it myself.  That was until a few weeks ago...

I felt kind of sick when I got up but it was pretty mild. When I arrived at work that day I had some pretty unpleasant lower body activity going on which led to me ultimately throwing up at about 10AM.  I was still experiencing post throw-up euphoria but I could tell I needed to get out of work while the getting was good. I hopped on a bus to get home but as soon as it started moving I could tell the ride wasn't going to be pleasant.  I felt sicker and sicker with each stop so I sat there with my head down, swallowing spit like R. Kelly, repeating "don't throw up on the bus, please don't throw on the bus" over and over in my head.  Finely we're a street away from my stop when we hit a red light but I'm feeling confident because I knew my bathroom was within reach.

That moment of clarity was interrupted as I get the BEJESUS scared out of me by a loud noise hitting the window beside me.  I look up and a duck boat captain was shooting a super soaker at me. I tried to look towards the ground and focus on getting home but the captain keeps blasting my window and I hear him say something to make fun of me over the loud speaker.  It was unentellegible but I made the word "white".  The whole duck boat starts laughing and honking kazoos at me when the captain starts blaring "Play That Funky Music (White Boy)" causing whole the duck boat erupt into hysterics.  He bumps the boat up and down like it's on hydraulics to the music while people laughed at me for what felt like hours. Still looking down, I heard the duck turn past Niketown and sound of laughter and kazooing fade into the distance.

I made it home, which should have made me happy but all I could think about was much I wished I would have thrown up all over the window of the bus at the families of horrified duck boaters. Sadly, publicly regurgitating as a retort is only the kind of wit you think of in hindsight, so instead I laid around throwing up in the comfort of my apartment stewing about this incident.

I love my Dad.

2006-08-31T11:55:00.000-07:00

I talked to my dad over the weekend. Now that Little Miss Sunshine has been expanded nationwide I've been on him to go see it. He's always up for seeing something original but good indie movies just don't cross his radar when they come though West Virginia, if they come though at all. He said he's excited because he's "tired of action movies where a million people die and all the guys are bragging about how big their privates are."

Pluto Gone.

2006-08-22T22:33:00.000-07:00

It seriously weirds me out (although it's peculiar to me as to why it freaks me out as much as it does) that Pluto might not be a planet any more as of Thursday.

Have you seen this man?

2006-08-13T16:37:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been so uncomputive as of late. Many things have been keeping me away, a new job, no home computer, kickball, wow, I never even told you about my birthday...these are all things that I hope to talk about more soon.

Along with this post I made another attempt to spurn my way back on the internet today with a new "Single" I put on Crown Dozen, a video by Los Peyotes that's really a must see.

That's how Ruff Ryders Roll?

2006-05-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

Reading this blog post today on The Onion AV blog reminded me how crazy DMX is; but the article didn't even mention the craziest story I've heard about him. Allegedly, during the filming of 'Cradle 2 the Grave' DMX was showing up hours late, or not at all to shoots. Eventually the studio figured out it was because he was spending all his time in the town's local hobby store playing with model planes. His no-showing became such a problem the studio ended up BUYING the hobby store to give DMX 24 hour access though the duration of the film!

I was trying to research to see if I could find proof of this but all I found was this picture of DMX playing with model planes on Def Jams site.

Mr. JG, now what you got for me.

2006-05-10T14:59:00.000-07:00

My beard is growing in red, it's starting to reach James Garfield-esque proportions.

Other Music.

2006-05-03T14:49:00.000-07:00

Other Music in NYC is my favorite record store in the world! It’s a dangerous place for me to go; in the past I’ve blow my entire vacation budget there. All of my experiences with OM have been quite pleasant but I’m sure everyone has experienced record store customer service like this at one time or another.

Bop Tart : A Friend of Freedom.

2006-05-02T13:08:00.000-07:00

I had the weirdest voice mail from a friend this morning saying that boptart.com had been hacked by "islamic terrorists", thinking it was a joke I checked the site and as it turns out IT WAS TRUE. If you logged on boptart.com this morning, you saw:

I don't know if you can call them terrorists, per se. Other than terrorizing the aesthetics of web designers, I don't see how a matrix background with "No 4 AmErICA" and a Celine Dion MIDI file playing in the background is going to start a holy war. Your jihad's not even Mozilla compatible, beeyoch!

USA! USA! USA!

Anyways, they just changed the index so it looks like we're back in business. You know, if business means not updating the site since last June, then we're back at it. Quit brow beating me! We haven't had anything out for a while, what am I going to say?

...I assure you the new stuff we've got on the way will be well worth the wait!

Year One.

2006-04-29T15:10:00.000-07:00

Today is the one year anniversary of Easy Baker Oven, to celebrate let's review a few of the things we've talked about over the last year:

Donkey Basketball, My Super Sweet 30, Blimpy, Harvey Sid Fisher, Bone Queen, Joe Rogan Neil Hamburger, Lethal Weapon 3, Macrobiotic Living, Don Knotts, Abner Audubon Peacock IV, Hugh Hefner, The Octopus Project, YWCA, K. Thor Jensen, Theremin Spiritualized, "up-down-up-down-left-right-left-right all night", Thor Aackerlund, Flannery O'Connor, "crime tour of Alaska", Pistachio Paul, Ice Races,Super Bowl, World's Biggest Clam, Cat Show, Kenny Rogers, In The Heat Of The Night, Carroll O'Connor's Stunt, Prat Falls, We Are Marshall, Matawan, October Sky, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Bono, Final Destination 3, Diana Eng, Project Runway II, Campus Ladies, Paul Reubens, Junebug, Bob Newhart, Patton Oswalt, The Sealy Roll Test, TV Carnage Skinny Dipping Vs. Chunky Dunking, Trapped In The Closet, Terminal USA, Bill Murray, The Man Who Knew Too Little, Operation Dumbo Drop, Kevin Federline, Rain-Blo's, Smarties Money, Halloween, "I'm not Boy George, I'M A ROCK STAR!!", Pac Man, Paul Frank Frames, Electric Kettle, Bassman Vinyl Figure, Jive Turkey NYC, Cock Fighting, "Cockadoodle-DON'T!", Git-R-Done, B-T Overdriving, Larry The Cable Guy, Slim Goodbody, YES labs, Nintendogs, Tamagotchi, Trauma Center: Under the Knife, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Southland Tales, The Rock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kevin Smith, Nora Dunn, Janeane Garofalo, John Larroquette, Jon Lovitz, Mandy Moore, Cheri Oteri, Amy Poehler, Miranda Richardson, Justin Timberlake, Todd Oldham, Handmade Modern, Serial Ballbusters, GWAR, Space Needle, Heather Mills McCartney, PETA, Sweetface, Honky Tonk Badonkadonk, Katrina, "You're not Ghetto fabulous, you SLUM PITIFUL", T-Bone "The Redeemed Hoodlum", Trina, The Jetts, US Weekly, Jeppe/Senior, Bell Biv DeVoe, Bobby Brown, Mr. T, Glomer On The Old Punky Brewster Cartoon, Slip'N'Slide, Twin Peaks, Bubbleman, Alpine Days, Krispy Kream, Rube Goldberg, Murderball, "hey dorkside where's your lamesavers", The Big Picture, Tron, Dig!, Mos Def, Notorious B.I.G., Ghostface Killah, and Lord Finesse, Wild Style, The Ramones, My Baby Takes Valium, Leigh Bowery, Hydro-Codeine, Lauren Hutton, Sandra Day O'Connor, Ross McElwee, Sherman's March, K. Gordon Murray, Puss 'n Boots, Too Much Blood In My Alcohol Level, American History X, Rudi Gernreich, Claire Elmore, P. Diddy Presents The Bad Boys Of Comedy, Bastille Day, Land of the Dead, American Airlines, Kimya Dawson, Damon & Naomi, Orange Juice, Laser Tag, Gary Bassman, Hi Fructose, Pin Down Girls, Sesku Roba, KC masterpiece, Buca di Beppo, Uwajimaya, Sweet N’ Low, Jump Rope For Heart, Seripop, Baby Geniuses, Baby Bob, 'Fatty' Arbuckle, Scientology, Jon Moritsugu, No-Cavity Club, Benny and The Jets, Pom Pom Purin, Harmonic Oscillator, Tab Cola, Kanda, IQU, Of Montreal, Elephant 6, “angels can still hunt dear in heaven", Nancy Regan, Gloria Vanderbilt, Jackie Onassis, Katharine Hepburn, Rolland And Martin's Laugh In, C.H.U.D.s, Sophisticates Hairstyle Guide, Palindromes, Rusty Trombones, Cleveland Steamers, Star Wars, The Chicken Lady, Magic The Gathering, Wilford Brimley, Howard Hughes, Buffy the Vampire, Dixie Stampeded, Champain Jammm, LCD Soundsystem, Wire, On-Demand Television, Chicken Bastilla, Myrtle Beach, Wimbledon, Dolly Parton, Medieval Times, Speak & Spell, Le Cybersongosse, The Crumpet Shop, Captain Ron, Revenge Of The Nerds, Ridding The Bus With My Sister, Ludacris, Lucksmiths, Via Tribunali, 28 Days Later, Dusty Springfield, Coinstar, Sonicboom, Bridget Bardot, Herald and Kumar Go To Whitecastle, "honey on my tits", Laurent Garnier, MIA, Scooby-Doo.

Wow, Operation Dumbo Drop, Honky Tonk Badonkadonk, Bobby Brown, AND Glomer On The Old Brewster Cartoon ...I hope I haven’t blown my wad for next year.

donkey basketball.

2006-04-13T16:56:00.000-07:00

Do they have donkey basketball here? It seems like such common High School thing to me, but so confusing to everyone else. I'm always like "What? Your school didn't let you out of class once a year to watch your teachers play basketball while riding donkeys that are slipping around in their own piss and shit!? You mean to say that's only a West Virginia thing? Humph."

Donkey basketball was a yearly thing back home. Every church group and school had some sort of event to raise money, where you could pay to watch a "celebrity" riders like Reverend Al Johnson or local weatherman Johnny Tucker play basketball on a donkey. On the surface, pretty boring, except for all the floppin' around in donkey turds that is! Basically, you're paying to watch people waller around for an hour in donkey mess!

...and I did pay money to watch, every year.

Imagine - You're a High School boy watching the fat mean English teacher that's been abusive to you all year try to get on a donkey. She's having trouble because the court (yes this took place on our school basketball court, not outside) is all slopped up with donkey piss. When she finely mounts the poor donkey he has a 'oh my god this lady's fat' look on his face and then unloads everywhere!

Oh god, I'm so sorry donkeys.

Mmmmmm.

2006-04-10T16:55:00.000-07:00

I want to eat this.

Bone queen.

2006-04-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

Today my friend Pam and I were discussing this picture I took of these Russian prison tattoos in Brooke's law offices when I went to Alaska. I like how they're about such inconsequential stuff but are very specific. I'm Russian, I'm in prison, and I hate my mother-in-law,I wonder if there's a tattoo that appeals to me? Why yes sir, there is!

Here are some favorites:

PS: Click the first pic and hit "all sizes" to see more.

Am I out of line here?

2006-04-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

On Friday I saw this “interview” on the Seattlest. When I searched for the band or the lead singer on google I couldn't find anything, not one thing, nothing! I wrote something snotty in the comments, then the writer snotted back. His response, was 'sorry you didn't find anything, I guess YOU just don't know where to look' and sent me a few pictures from the fascinating, poor mans Terry Richardson project The Cobra Snake.

It just bothered me because the interview comes across so "dude, let’s do the interview like we’re a real band" with no substance to back it up. It tapped in to a lot of problems I have with Seattle. I'm not being too Joe Rogan about this am I?

The Octopus Project

2006-03-29T11:56:00.000-08:00

I went to see The Octopus Project last night at the Paradox. It had been ages since I'd been to an all-ages show. It's funny, all ages shows were the only decent bands touring in Huntington before I left. I went to them all the time but over the years I felt creeper and creeper being the bald guy with a bunch of kids down at the YWCA. That tops the list of creepy Huntington feelings and reasons I’m here in Seattle today.

I was excited to see The OP because before I moved out I had booked them to play a show (at a bar) in Huntington. No one had heard of the band so I worked really hard to get people to the show, going as far as walking around with a CD player and making people listen to them. The day of the show they called me with the sad news that their van was stolen that day on their way out of NYC! They were devastated, I was devastated, it was a disappointing situation all around.

I even had a great idea for a poster (that was fully realized by Ben (the mastermind behind designing boptart.com)and K. Thor Jensen) that played upon the southern phenomenon of Donkey basketball, thusly Octopus Basketball.

So at last nights show we arrived an hour before The OP started so we sat around eating M&Ms and drinking coffee for about ten minuets before someone suggested we go to a bar. Actually, I think that someone suggested going to a bar as soon as we got there but it took ten minutes of a terrible screamo band to rush along the decision.

After a beer at a neat little Ballard bar near the Paradox, Mike's Chili Palace or something, we headed back to the show.
I’m so glad I went out, The OP were amazing. It was loud gritty drums, guitars, and a Theremin, with no vocals. Some of the better moments reminded me of seeing Spiritualized (for lack of a better term) "jam out" when you see them live. Really, really really, good. They had great set dressings too. On stage they had crafted sheets made to look like huge monsters that they and put over the speakers with Christmas lights under them.