Power pillin'
My friend Wally, our security guard at work, has been filling the candy bowl at the front desk with some primo confections as of late. Halloween candy is in full swing, Rain-Blo's, Smarties Money (basically bigger smarties that look like coins), and chocolates packaged in foil that makes each one look like little eye balls. Mmmmm, its all candy you would never get on your own but when you see it you're like "man, I want to eat the shit out of that fucking candy"!
This reminded of some Halloween/candy stories. When I was in fifth grade I wanted to be a rock star. My mom didn’t know what a rock star costume initialed so she dolled me up with lots of make up and what she perceived as "rock wear". Thinking back on it sounds like it looked awesome, just not kid awesome. So, I get to school kids keep asking me "why did you dress like Boy George" to which I would yell "I'm not Boy George, I'M A ROCK STAR!!" I think that story explains a lot about me actually. As does this...
I had an unnatural love for Pac Man and Pinball when I was a kid. My parents, maybe sensing this as a recipe for lifelong comic collecting (I went for music instead) pushed me to stay active by getting me involved with tennis and soccer. The tennis stuck but I never really got into soccer. I was always terrible at it. I don't think my childhood spazzyness was conducive to waiting for a ball to come to me. I much preferred the instant gobble gobble gobble chomp of the Pac Man.
So, during soccer games I motivated myself by pretending WAS I was Pac Man. I'd keep a packet of Smarties in my pocket, which I had convinced myself were power pills that would give me kung fu soccer skills for a short burst of time. When I saw the action coming towards me I'd franticly search for a Power Pill. I would spend so much time fumbling around my pockets trying to “drop” the action had long passed me by when I'd found a Smartie. I didn't let that stop me though; once I ate that Smartie I could feel the surge, I would chase after the ball crazed like a lil' mad man for thirty seconds until the affects of the Power Pellet wore off. What could anyone watching this have been thinking?!
I feel like yelling “I'M A ROCK STAR”! while giving high fives with sweaty orange slice and candy hands, yup, that pretty much sums up my life.
This reminded of some Halloween/candy stories. When I was in fifth grade I wanted to be a rock star. My mom didn’t know what a rock star costume initialed so she dolled me up with lots of make up and what she perceived as "rock wear". Thinking back on it sounds like it looked awesome, just not kid awesome. So, I get to school kids keep asking me "why did you dress like Boy George" to which I would yell "I'm not Boy George, I'M A ROCK STAR!!" I think that story explains a lot about me actually. As does this...
I had an unnatural love for Pac Man and Pinball when I was a kid. My parents, maybe sensing this as a recipe for lifelong comic collecting (I went for music instead) pushed me to stay active by getting me involved with tennis and soccer. The tennis stuck but I never really got into soccer. I was always terrible at it. I don't think my childhood spazzyness was conducive to waiting for a ball to come to me. I much preferred the instant gobble gobble gobble chomp of the Pac Man.
So, during soccer games I motivated myself by pretending WAS I was Pac Man. I'd keep a packet of Smarties in my pocket, which I had convinced myself were power pills that would give me kung fu soccer skills for a short burst of time. When I saw the action coming towards me I'd franticly search for a Power Pill. I would spend so much time fumbling around my pockets trying to “drop” the action had long passed me by when I'd found a Smartie. I didn't let that stop me though; once I ate that Smartie I could feel the surge, I would chase after the ball crazed like a lil' mad man for thirty seconds until the affects of the Power Pellet wore off. What could anyone watching this have been thinking?!
I feel like yelling “I'M A ROCK STAR”! while giving high fives with sweaty orange slice and candy hands, yup, that pretty much sums up my life.
posted by LAB at 4:34 PM
3 Comments:
Yeah, what was up with everyone humbugging Halloween this year? A lot of people I know didn’t dress up (cough *Brad* *John* *Erik* *Brian*), lame asses. A lot of the other costumes I saw out were lackluster at best. Our group looked by far the best anywhere we went! I don’t know why Shane got it in his head that his 3-D Man costume was so bad, I thought it looked rad! It’s Halloween, you have to have that “I'm going out with my dick in my hand and I'ma gonna to kick down the door when I get there" attitude. (haha, I just thought of a cup cake with it's dick in it's hand kicking down a door.)
How old were you when you made that Pac Man? That's something I could see you doing, like, last week?
I don't know if I really accept "I've never dressed up for Halloween before” as an excuse. Everyone's HAD to of wanted to get dressed up. Or if it’s that they’ve got a phobia of going out of their element, I understand that...but for that reason Halloween should be their day! Certainly, at some point in the last year everyone’s thought “I’d like to be that (him, her, or it) instead of me”, well here’s your day (or weekend) to do so! I'm evangelizing.
If you're not as into it as me that's fine, but if you don't dress up for Halloween for a reason please explain it to me?
As far Hardee's, I think it could be argued that they have a much better breakfast than McDonalds, their cinnamon raisin biscuits and tadertots. Mmmmm.
PS: I just got on Hardee's web site and while all the laser burgers were zipping around on my screen a bunch of people walked past my desk. It's hard to look less like you're doing actual work than when you're on the internet looking at flying hamburgers.
...I'm hungry.
That Norm McDonald thing was weird. The Hardee's star that you could put on your car antenna got really popular back in West Virgina.
Yes, we have Sonics. Mmmm Sonic tater-tots with cheese on them! Gosh, I really am so hungry right now. It seems like a lot of our conversations go this way.
Here's my prediction for the next thread:
Lindsey: Kevin Federline.
Pam: Yeah, more like Kevin Fooderline.
Lindsey: Have you ever eaten at...
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