1upsmanship.

My friend Adam wrote me yesterday with some fresh video game rhymes. So I decided to 8 mile with him, dork style, and spit some of my own.

Adam:

I wanna whip you into a Castlevania frenzy,
and rev up your Excitebike-
I can do up-down-up-down-left-right-left-right all night,
I'm on a Duck Hunt for 8-bits of love.

I'd pay a River City Ransom,
to be your Kid Icarus for the night,
I'd even Punch Out! Mike Tyson,
In a Double Dragon/Battletoads fight.

If you'll be my Princess, I'll be your Mario-
Drop down your Warp Pipe for subterranean treasure,
Eat a Magic Mushroom to increase my size,
Finding your Fire Flower is my ultimate pleasure,
As I Jump-kick your Koopa shell for infinite lives.

Mine:

Ketchup Burgertime cuz you're Oregon Trailing me
Got hands thick and calloused, more game than genie
Rocking blocks like R.O.B. cuz I'm Gyromighy
RC Pro-AM to PM, I kick the stick nightly.

I'm like Hagar or Rygar you're like Captain Planet.
I've read Stone Hands, so you know my shit is granite
I'm a double dragon just like Robert Patrick
While you're typing to Larry "put on prophylactic"

I'm the master, brain and blaster
got 'em saying "it's a hit" like an 8bit sportscaster
So many coins in my pockets, I gots endowment funds
When it comes to the game I'm Thor Aackerlund

Seriously, you try rhyming "blowing in her cartridge" with anything other than "partridge". It's hard!