donkey basketball.
Do they have donkey basketball here? It seems like such common High School thing to me, but so confusing to everyone else. I'm always like "What? Your school didn't let you out of class once a year to watch your teachers play basketball while riding donkeys that are slipping around in their own piss and shit!? You mean to say that's only a West Virginia thing? Humph."
Donkey basketball was a yearly thing back home. Every church group and school had some sort of event to raise money, where you could pay to watch a "celebrity" riders like Reverend Al Johnson or local weatherman Johnny Tucker play basketball on a donkey. On the surface, pretty boring, except for all the floppin' around in donkey turds that is! Basically, you're paying to watch people waller around for an hour in donkey mess!
...and I did pay money to watch, every year.
Imagine - You're a High School boy watching the fat mean English teacher that's been abusive to you all year try to get on a donkey. She's having trouble because the court (yes this took place on our school basketball court, not outside) is all slopped up with donkey piss. When she finely mounts the poor donkey he has a 'oh my god this lady's fat' look on his face and then unloads everywhere!
Oh god, I'm so sorry donkeys.
Donkey basketball was a yearly thing back home. Every church group and school had some sort of event to raise money, where you could pay to watch a "celebrity" riders like Reverend Al Johnson or local weatherman Johnny Tucker play basketball on a donkey. On the surface, pretty boring, except for all the floppin' around in donkey turds that is! Basically, you're paying to watch people waller around for an hour in donkey mess!
...and I did pay money to watch, every year.
Imagine - You're a High School boy watching the fat mean English teacher that's been abusive to you all year try to get on a donkey. She's having trouble because the court (yes this took place on our school basketball court, not outside) is all slopped up with donkey piss. When she finely mounts the poor donkey he has a 'oh my god this lady's fat' look on his face and then unloads everywhere!
Oh god, I'm so sorry donkeys.
posted by LAB at 4:56 PM
5 Comments:
Memories like this make me think PETA is misguided by concentrating their efforts on warning parents about the dangers of letting their children play Wack-A-Mole (fur realz, I saw that on the PETA site once).
Man, I wish we had donkey basketball. I would totally want to watch that. Hooray for donkey waste!
In re PETA.. it's like, why are they assaulting me outside of Cafe Campagne about something I'm not even going to eat (foie gras) when there is an obese English teacher wrestling a poor donkey with her thighs in West Virginia?? That organization needs some new management.
oh. my. god.
I understand you deeply Lindsey.
When I saw the title of your post, I thought, "Yeah. Donkey Baketball. Seen that dozens of times." Illinois is all over that shit.
God Bless America.
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