Southland Tales.

I’ve been so fascinated with Southland Tales (Richard Kelly's follow up to Donnie Darko) over the past few months! First off, the bizarreo cast includes The Rock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kevin Smith, Nora Dunn, Janeane Garofalo, John Larroquette, Jon Lovitz, Mandy Moore, Cheri Oteri, Amy Poehler, Miranda Richardson, and Justin Timberlake. And then there's the weird web site I found for it. THEN, yesterday I read this super weirdy weird blurb about how while filming a scene with a "massive encampment of homeless people" they had to surround the shoot with heavy security to prevent imposter homeless actors, as in, actual homeless people, from crashing the shoot. Humph?!

Has anyone seen Todd Oldham's Handmade Modern on the Home & Garden Network yet . It's great!

Ballbusters!

My friend Shane got the best spam today and forwarded it on to me. I really like that it says "do not download these clips if you're not used to television" See below:



Serial ballbusters - Real life ballbusting violence on the streets

Download our exclusive ballbusting videos !
SERIAL-BALLBUSTERS.COM


The pink umbrella
Maria is attacked by a junk who wants to take her cigarette pack... She strikes back by kicking him in the balls as hard as she can... He tries to run away with her cigarettes, but she uses her pink umbrella to grab him by the groin from behind ! Ouch ! A really, really violent and sadistic self-defense move ! She then grabs him by the balls and she finishes him...



The pen attack
While Myriam is dressing in the cabin, Eddy tries to see her nude...
But she notices that someone is spying her. She quickly slaps his groin with a pen. A deadly move ! She then kness him and kicks him in the balls multiple times !
The ballbusting saleswoman is back, cruel and sexy !



Where do you go with my bike ?
A man is trying to steal Maria's bike while she's harvesting some nuts... Suddenly, she sees him and run after him to get her bike back ! She beats his crotch with the bike, she brutally kicks his groin ! She menaces him to castrate him... She grabs his balls and squeezes them very hard ! The guy is in pain... He falls unconscious. She then beats him with a big branch !



Warning these clips contains violent scenes with women kicking men in the groin.

Do not download these clips if you're not used to television or under 13.

Fundamental differences between West Virginia and Seattle.

In Seattle you’ll see a stop sign with WAR spray painted under STOP, saying “STOP WAR”. In Huntington you’ll also see "STOP WAR" painted stop signs, but they have later been changed to say “STOP GWAR” by someone else. If people in West Virginia actually wanted GWAR to be stopped that would be on thing, but after 26 years of living there...trust me...they don’t.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!

It’s this hottie’s birthday today!



I think she would be angry it I called her a “hottie with a naughty body”…so I won’t do that. The more important question is how did I get so lucky?

We’ll be celebrating on Friday, let me know if you’d like to come and I’ll tell you what’s up.

Jon Moritsugu Interview.

My Jon Moritsugu Interview is up on Crown Dozen. Check it out, I'm really happy with the way it turned out!

Sweetface.

Wow, this Heather Mills McCartney Vs J. Lo thing is amazing; I think I just got the vapors reading this.

If you don't know the story yet, Heather Mills McCartney, while executing a publicity stunt on behalf of PETA, tried to deliver a DVD showing the process of animals being killed for fur to Lopez because her fashion line, Sweetface, uses fur. A tussle took place between J. Lo's security causing Mills McCartney's prosthetic leg to fall off!

It combines so many elements of hatred, love, and entertainment for me ; PETA, a McCartney, J. Lo, a prosthetic leg, and J. Lo's company is fucking called SWEETFACE!? Ugg, what a spectacle...I think I just vapored myself again.

Webster defines a donkey's vagina as a vajonkadonk.

We got a country song in at work today called “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”. They had to spell Badonkadonk phonetically (\ba-dônk-‘a-dônk\) and give a definition it on the cover of the single, but color me impressed, that’s fun. I'm sure it's better in theory; I opted not to listen to the actual song so it could stay pure and good in my mind forever.

Katrina Mega-Mix.

I added three throw up in your own mouth “Katrina Versions” of songs to one of our weekly CDs going out to stations at work last week. Natalie Grant –“Held (Katrina Mix)”, Michael Bubel – “Home (Katrina Mix)” and 3 Doors Down – “Here By Me (Katrina Mix)” They’re not even new, its songs that were already out with samples of president Bush saying “were dealing with one of the worst disasters in our nation’s history” mixed into the song! I’m can only assume that the proceeds go to charity, but using Katrina to get radio play for your shitty song that no one wanted to hear to begin with is just gross. Nobel Katrina Bush samples? Throw up in mouth, swallow, throw up again.

Love gloves.

Lacoste gloves, I want these.

You're not Ghetto fabulous, you SLUM PITIFUL.

I just put a rap song by T-Bone "The Redeemed Hoodlum" on the Christian Music CD at work. There's a picture of him as Che Guevara on front with a cross on his beret. See below:



It was good see T-Bone is still suckling hard on the dried up tit of mediocrity; it brought back some good memories.

Back when I was music director at WMUL I had FULL AXCESS to the entire collection the of Christian rap! It was awesome. With Christian rap, like most contemporary Christian music, the idea was to make a carbon copy of whatever's popular with a christen slant. Every Sunday you could listen to mealy-mouthed DJs playing watered down versions of "new songs" that were coming out an awkward amount of time past the popularity of whatever they're emulating.

I consider the 90's the golden age of christen hip hop. With more hardcore acts like Dre and Snoop getting popular on mainstream radio christen rap tried to follow suite. I specifically remember T-Bone because he would act like he was going to say “mother fucker” but instead say “mother, father, sister, brother”. I don't know if it was T-bone or not but in one song with exact Snoop Dogg cadence, I kid you not, I heard the phrase "smoking the Jesus chronic". The new T-bone, Bone-A-Fied, was more Nü Metaly. I can just see him calling up a friend a few weeks ago saying "Man, this Rage Against The Machine you loaned me changed my life."

T-bone, keeping it real for people who still think "keeping it real" is still a SUPER cool phrase to say.

I've been listing to Trina non-stop recently. If it's encouraging her male suitors to "put their face down in her chu-cha" or "fuck the dog shit" out of her, the Diamond Princess keeps me blushing though and though. She also has one of my favorite album covers off all time.



Speaking of chu cha's (or the holy union of a chu-cha and a tinky) Todd and Mel's wedding was super fun. I danced for like eight hours straight at, and after, the reception. I'm still sore. James put up a flickr group for the wedding here.