In the Heat of the Night.

I remembered another local celebrity from my hometown. It was always rumored that Carroll O'Connor's stunt double from In the Heat of the Night lived in Huntington. I never met him but it's just one of those things that you'd hear about too often not to be true. People would always be talking about some crazy shit that Carroll O'Connor's stunt double was doing at the bar over the weekend. I always imagined him getting in fights that started with him saying "Do you know who I am? I'm Carroll O'Connor's fucking stunt double from In the Heat of the Night!" and ending with someone getting thrown in slow motion over a bar into glass storm of liquor bottles. In collage I even bought a crystal ball at a yard sell that the owner told me was used as a prop on In the Heat of the Night, allegedly sold to him by Carroll O'Connor's stunt double.

Later I later heard that Carroll O'Connor's stunt double was a huge drug addict by the time he got to Huntington, the glue that brought all the stories together.

Dreams.

I’ve been having really weird dreams for the past week or so...

Sunday night I dreamt I was watching an ad for MTV, which I vaguely felt that I’d directed. It was of Jamaicans selling mix tapes in Queens and this thuggish fellow is demanding to get K-Fed, Popo-Zao before it hits the streets. They don’t have Popo-Zao yet...an argument ensues.

Last nights dream was epic but the details are hazier. I was back in West Virginia watching some sort of all star jamboree with kids that were in plays with me in High School, who were now adults. I was in the audience but they pulled me up on stage where we started dancing back and forth in a half circle. I was all the way on the end kind of behind the curtain which bothered me because I wanted the audience to be able to see me better...I should've been the star!

Other sketchy details…

*I didn’t have luggage because I didn’t travel, I was just in West Virginia all of a sudden. I was worried about not having any of my good clothes but I was excited about shopping at thrift stores for new clothes.

*I was also upset because I didn't have my camera becasue I felt like I'd been neglecting Flickr.

*Later I was doing prat falls in the dream.

I would blame last night’s dream on these crazy wrestling hats (1,
2, 3) that I was looking at before I went to bed last night but this has been happening all week! Actually, I still blame those hats. If anything has the power to create a rift in time and rattle my subconscious mind weeks before I know of it’s existence, it's a Hulk Hogan fist helmet.

Good news, bad news.

Good news, they're making a movie about the Marshall University (my home town school and alma mater) football tragedy. If you don't know, a plane crash in 1970 killed most of the players and coaches of our team; it's always rated among the top sports tragedies of all time. I was born in '76 so growing up it was hard not to know someone who had been affected by the tragedy, 75 people died and it's a small town. Obviously it's a intence story, if done correctly I think it could be a really good movie.

But…

It’s being directed by McG of Charlie's Angels/Charlie's Angels:Full Throttle/Korn videos fame. Matthew McConaughey's staring in it though, that's good, I guess. Concidering how my oft maligned West Virginia is potrayed in films I have luke warm hopes, leave it to McG to have some matrix camera spinning around someone spitting chaw into a spittoon.

Other than 'Matawan' and 'October Sky' are their any good films that take place in West Virginia?

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.

There's a part in "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" where Rob Schneider goes and nocks on a door of a women who, apparently, he will be servicing. She opens the door and he starts to say "Hi I'm Deuce Bigalow" but instead says "Hi I'm Deuce Big-EST LADY I'VE EVER SEEN!!!" because, you know, she's big. The large women then caries Deuce in the house, dresses him in a dipper and bonnet then drops him in a play pin. I know all of this from watching the preview. Recently, my dad called and excitedly asked me "have you seen Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo yet?!" He could barely contain himself because "Deuce Big-EST LADY I'VE EVER SEEN" is from my home town! Dad's a member at the moose club and she's the bartender at lodge. That's massive for my hometown; I think her celebrity even surpasses the weather man who allegedly got a hamster stuck up his ass, and that guy's like our Bono.

FD to the 3!

I just wrote this email to a bunch of people, I was in a tizzy with excitement, so if I missed you here you go:

Look, free tickets to Final Destination 3 on the 8th!

http://www.fd3movie.com/onlinescreening/

If this anything like the other two movies it will be great! If you haven't seen any of the Final Destination films let me tell you a little about the plot. Someone will have "cheated deaths design" by, say, having a premonition that a plane they are boarding is going to crash, so they get off the flight and take a few people with them. The plane will crash and then the rest of the movie is spent with the "survivors" of the tragedy trying to avoid "death's design", which they've cheeted. Metaphysical "death" will then knock down a four square ball...that falls on a fork...which flings across the room knocking over a frozen bottle of vodka...that spills on an electric tea kettle...causing a electrical short...that scares a cat who runs across the floor causing the person to trip out their fire escape...which distracts a crane operator who sees all of this take place...dropping a load of rebar that causes a car to crash....meanwhile, back in the ally the person is unharmed...but just jumped into a dumpster to narrowly avoid being hit by a car...only to walk out into the road to be killed by a hubcap that few off the
crashed car!

...followed by my head exploding becasue I love these movies so much!!! I'll be at the front of the line, look for me!

FAQs and comments that I've recived:

Q:(Pam) sounds a little violent....is it?

A: It is...but in an absurd way. Normally the most violent part is the "tragedy" that takes place in the beginning (this time it's a roller coaster malfunctioning, scary!) and then the rest of the movie it just so ridiculous the violence takes a backseat.

(Todd) : I got my tickets. And so much messed up shit happened afterwards, I can't even begin to explain. Suffice to say, I know have TWO computer monitors up my ass!

Craft Party Tonight.

This weekend I went over to a craft party over at my friends Leslie and Andy's house. I worked on an amazing lamp that my work was getting rid of. I loved the lamp but wasn't that into the shade. So, using some wood grain contact paper and an idea I got out the Todd Oldham handmade modern book I redid the shade and top of the lamp. Looks good, aye?

News Items of Interest.

* I sent off my Diana Eng from Project Runway interview off today, I'll let you know how it turns out when I hear back.

* I'm obsessed with the new show Campus Ladies; it's the funniest thing I've seen in, like, forever...AND Paul Reubens is doing a guest appearance! It's about the mommyest moms you've ever seen going back to collage. I'm hoping to do a review on C12 for it soon.

* I'm going to Alaska for five days at the beginning of next month to visit my friend Brooke. Yey. I'm starting to get excited about that.

* Final Destination 3 starts on February 10th, yo! Big Rube Goldberg machines of death. I LOVE Final Destination movies. Who's coming with me?

* I went to the doctor the other day about two lingering injurys. A wrist that was hurt (that keeps re-hurting way too easily) from kickball and a garbley sounding left ear (from who knows what). He said I have a retracted ear drum for which he recommended going to an ear, nose, and throat Dr. For the wrist he wanted me to get some rehab from a professional, which I really don't want to do. Can't I just look up some exercises on the internet or something? That's what they'll teach me to do anyways, right? Ugg, I'm falling apart.

* Oh, I put up a review of Junebug a few days ago on Crown Dozen.

* Tonight I'm going to go see Bob Newhart.

Blessing/Curse.

It bothers me that just because I have awesome shoes people know it's me when I'm pooping in the public bathroom at work.

Google ads on my email.

I just got an interview back I did with Patton Oswalt for crown12 back today. I emailed it to him and he got it back to me in a half an hour. It's quite as "chunky" as I would have liked but I think turned out pretty good. I'll let you know when it's up

I just got the following google ad on an email because I called some one a "douche bag" in the body of the email:

Free Douche Bag

Get $250 for Douche Bag absolutely free. Aff.

But it was just some generic promotions site, I want my two hundred fifty dollar douche bag gawdammit!!!

Oh, Brad sent me a link to this a year ago but I still think about it and re-watch it every month or so...which I did again last night. It's still one of the best things I've ever seen.

The Sealy Roll Test. Click that link, scroll to the bottom of the page and click on "Sealy Roll Test". Sit back, enjoy, and watch the whole thing or you'll miss the "remix".

Update 12/18 - I sent some stuff off to Big Pinky for the new TV Carnage DVD, A Sore For Sighted Eyes. I still haven’t seen it yet but Adam, informed that apparently the "Sealy Roll Test" made in! Yey!

Teeth.

I put up a new 12 today on Crown Dozen. It's "13 Songs About Teeth". Oh, and Happy New Year!